twelve

miles are covered one step at a time.

some things are coming together. baby steps in the scheme of things, but small progress is welcome progress. but I will admit to being afraid. anxious. enthusiastic about what the rapidly approaching new year can hold. not will hold. can hold. and isn’t that a brilliant thought? because as I think about the future it is up to me to fill it. and accept the reality of the rules of the road.

~ take your time.
~ choose your path welcoming detours.
~ use caution.
~ savor the journey.

as a favorite blogger, watermusic, says it’s either fear or love baby. and like her I choose love. but it seems like no matter what I choose the fear looms big in the shadows. I want a bumper sticker that reads ‘love always wins.’

I think I have mentioned a time or twenty that I am a good procrastinator. and I know that needs to change. for the good. because as I put things off it get only looks bad to ugly. but in contemplating why I excel in the delay, I cannot pinpoint it. other than to say I can be lazy. is that an okay thing to admit to? I see others in my life and my make-believe blogging friends doing great things. and I feel a bit intimidated. but I must admit I can be awesome (with a lot of help from my friends). I say that with all humility. and hope. I can be the one that accomplishes a task. be the person that people come to for help. I so enjoy the task. the camaraderie. the teamwork. the shared success.

I have come to an understanding with myself that it is okay to say no. and I have done that this year. selfishly taken some time for myself. to do absolutely nothing. and there is joy in that. and lonliness. and want. and desire. and love. and fear.

as for the fear? it can loom. I need to accept that it is there. ever present. take it as a challenge to motivate me. inspire me. carefully.

so let’s get back to the task. walk the walk. putting one foot in front of the other takes some time and determination to get there. maybe a little backtracking.
re-evaluation. but the adventure is glorious.

peace.