nine

everyday in your life is a special occasion.

the month of October is a happy time around here. it holds a plethora of birthdays. and we love to celebrate. no one should consider the day just another ‘x’ on the calendar. it is a day to be pampered. spoiled. recognized. loved. downright adored.

but then I stopped to think of why we don’t treat each other kindly and considerately the other 364 days out of the year. and it truly came to mind this morning when my husband called to say he was in a little fender bender. turns out he was in the drive thru line at Starbucks when another driver backed into him. everyone is okay – damage is minimal. but he said people were screaming at him to get out of the way. move his car. stop blocking traffic. I asked if anyone asked if he (or the other driver) were okay. if anyone offered assistance. a helping hand. he said no. just folks upset that they weren’t getting their double mocha frappuccino.

now I digress here a bit. tying in birthday celebrations and everyday courtesy. but it is not such a far stretch to think that one good deed begets another. and that same kindness. compassion. care you show to a loved one on a special day in their year shouldn’t be extended to a neighbor – known or unknown – every day of the year. a special occasion.

there is a saying that goes ’be not forgetful to entertain strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares’. that is only the half of it. we should behave well because it is the basis of being human.

peace.

eight

happiness begins with facing life with a smile and a wink.

I attended a meeting this morning where a group gathered to better relations between a local university and the community. the goal to make our smallish city a college town. right now we are a town with a college. for decades the two have politely mingled but always stayed fairly separate. there is a definite disconnect between the two twains. the university has much to offer the community. culture. sports. art. education. the city has much to offer the students, faculty and administration. win-win.

a panel discussion comprised of students and faculty addressed the 50-odd attendees. some good points were made. create a more welcoming environment for the students. inform the campus population of special events and happenings. offer more convenient business hours and specials to students. establish walking and/or bike paths between campus and the historic downtown. all noble suggestions. ideas that accommodate student, staff and the general public. good for the city and good for the university. everyone benefits. and everyone is in agreement.

problem solved.

I smile. I wink. my stomach knots. not to be sarcastic. but i’ve heard the tune before. same lyrics. different vocalists. with each new generation of student and business leaders the same suggestions are made. all are in agreement. and somehow. somewhere. somewhy. the issues still exist. the key to it all is as simple as solving the problems of the world. communication. how hard can that be? we can all work together. for the common good. stand proud on that soapbox. shout from the highest point. we can do it. all we have to do is listen and work together. never never never give up!

let me be the first to sing the praises of the plan. let everyone join in on the chorus. repeat I am part of the solution. tell me how to help. give me a task. but it needs to be more than talk. if not it becomes rhetoric. worse yet, apathy and frustration. and where does that lead? nowheresville. and we’ve spent too much time in that town already.

it is a basic need, happiness. key to survival. essential to co-existence. easy. challenging. oh so accomplishable. it is a beginning. optimistic? idealistic? you bet.let’s go!

peace.

seven

a truly rich life contains love and art in abundance.

Marc Chagall said ‘in our life there is a single color, as on an artist's palette, which provides the meaning of life and art. it is the color of love.’ I don’t know what the color of love is. but I have learned to appreciate. savor. absorb. both. my life is blessed but still is relatively poor in understanding the meaning of either.

I am a thespian. a miser. a banker. a philanthroper. an eager student. desperate at times to know the true definition. content at times by the simple concept. delighted always in the beauty of both.

peace.

six

blame it on the dog.

at the end of last month I was inspired to challenge myself to write every day for the 31 days of October. excited, I knew that I would start on a pet project and that the premise of the 31 days would carry me forward. encourage me. ever onward. unfortunately, I am now six days into the 31 day quest and have not jotted down one word of toward my mission. good grief.

I had coffee with a friend this morning. she is asking for my help on a little project of her own. we work well together. two peas of complimentary colors. she took up the 31 day journey without fail. and like a good friend, encouraged me to get an albeit late start. but always better late than never.

revealed in my delayed start are three rather simple things.

one procrastination isn’t a pretty thing. sometimes helpful. usually guilt ridden. a promise made to myself. broken by none other. not the end of the world, but disappointing to me. and definitely something that I can easily improve upon. starting today.

two friendship is the perfect blendship. it enables us to succeed and fail equally. dramatically. and land softly with a hand outstretched to applaud or help us up.

three dogs are the best. they love unconditionally. care exponentially. give unendingly. just a look into their soulful eyes make me a better kinder person. I want to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.

my furry child and faithful companion is not at fault. he remains ever vigil. always there to listen. give paws to reflect. and allow me to start the month of October a few days late.










peace.

five

a soft voice may be awfully persuasive.

I have always felt that a little kindness is the best weapon. and I define weapon as a tool. nothing threatening or radical. simply a means to an end.

a smile can change an attitude. a please or thank you can open doors. a courteous act can work wonders. raise spirits. ease tension. get results.

Jacqueline Winspear said ‘grace isn't a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. it's a way to live.’ grace is defined as good will. and what an attitude to carry around. hold in your heart. rinse and repeat. and all the better to embrace each day with a kindness in your heart. a soft approach to an, at times, harsh world. you don’t have to speak in a whisper. but use an ‘inside voice’ and heads will turn. listen. learn. abide. behave. and rejoice in the power of cooperation.

peace.

four

someone you care about seeks reconciliation.

I value my friends. I am nothing if not for them. their strength. their compassion and understanding. their love. when those relationships are off center my world simply does not spin evenly.

I have a good friend that I no longer see. we were once the best of friends. our separate lives with all the individual twists and turns simply got in the way and we drifted apart. and I miss her. desperately at times. she is always in my heart. I think of calling her, I intend to. I’ll do it tomorrow I think. my road is paved with good intentions. so I ask myself why do I make excuses. procrastination is a terrible affliction.

I have a friend of a friend that I no longer see. we might could have been friends but a few things got in the way. and now the tension hangs in the air. so thick you could cut it with a knife. the anxiety has spread so now not even names are mentioned in a conversation for fear of an emotional storm. I think how did the situation become so ugly. I so want it to be resolved. at the very least eased. Because living in such a tumultuous state is unhealthy. unhappy. utterly ridiculous.

so what is the secret of a successful relationship? time. talk. tolerance. not always in that order. friendship is a fragile thing. easily gained. more easily lost. most easily confused. but I know the answer is not neglect. ignoring a situation only makes any resolution harder. there is a saying that goes 'if two people let a single instant wedge itself between them, it grows - it becomes a month, a year, a century; it becomes too late.' time heals all wounds is not the mantra.

trust tending writes ‘I’m uncomfortable with the assumption that ignoring the “bad” stuff – difficult emotions, painful memories – will make them or their power go away. it is true that wallowing around in yuck will not translate immediately (or sometimes ever) into rainbows and sunbeams. I want to testify to the transformative effects of welcoming, rather than pushing away, things like bitterness, jealousy, anger, lust, depression, shame, and difficult memories.’

behold the power of a conversation. revealer of vulnerability. it may not be easy. but is it easy to live with the feeling of things unresolved? turn the fear into asking why-not? could it possibly be worse than what haunts us daily? and just think. once it is there on the table. even if it is not settled at least it is out in the open. no more interpretations. misguided ideas. a little honest conversation never hurt. at least not for long. and the end result is, at the very best, liberating.

if I am totally honest here I will confess that the one that seeks reconciliation is me. to a certain extent it is all about me. I so want to share the effect. I am tired of the waiting and the angst. the tension and the hurt. the lost opportunity for joy. I am ready. I am hopeful.

peace.

three

believe it can be done.

I continue to discover the road to happiness. a highway that is winding. dotted with beautiful scenery. tacky souvenir shops. bleak landscapes. luscious views. pot-holed. smooth and newly paved. hilly. straight. sharp bends. where I can speed along. slow down. use caution. drive with reckless abandon. and loving care.

I have always wanted a jeep. nothing fancy. not even new. I prefer the older models with the removable canvas top [I do have two requirements however … a) that it is equipped with a dock for my iPod because what is the journey without a little music and b) that it is fitted with a vanity plate because everyone deserves to share their quirky individuality]. a vehicle that is not all that practical but downright cool. not overly spacious but roomy enough to hold me, a friend, a dog or two, a duffel bag, a picnic blanket and a cooler. not too big or too small. just right to take on life’s adventures or keep mundane tasks less so. something that will make the most of every trip. and make the journey so much more enjoyable.

I think if I adopt that jeep mentality I can travel the road of life a bit more smoothly. I believe it can be done. to live a life of nothing fancy. not all the time practical but downright cool. big enough to hold me and those I love, furry and otherwise. savor the adventure and the routine. mind the rules. have fun. carefully. consciously. considerately. travel with a song in my heart.

peace.